Deep seated emotions

On Monday, one of my friends from youth group and school lost his brother in a car accident. This has impacted me deeply and I want to share a little bit about what I'm learning.

I found out about the accident on Tuesday, but I just knew that it was someone from youth group. I was sure that I knew this person because as a teenager I was extremely involved at church. However, finding out about this didn't immediately impact me in a personal way.

On Wednesday, I read an email from my youth pastor saying that it was my friend's brother who died in the car accident. This still had little to no impact on me. That night, I met with one of my friend's at the local coffee shop. He knew the guy who was killed better than me. At that point, I wasn't sure if I'd go to the viewing on Thursday night or not.

I realized at work on Thursday that even though I did not want to go to the viewing on Thursday night, it was extremely important for me to be there. For me it was not so much to pay my respects to my friend's brother, but rather to support the family.

I am extremely grateful that I went and it was more emotional for me than I had originally thought. I gave the family members a hug of support to let them know that I care.

This whole thing has been tremendously "sobering." I've realized again how precious life is and that every interaction with people extremely seriously. Being alive must not be taken for granted.

For me this brought back up a lot of deep emotions that I had forgotten about. In the summer of 2002, I lost my brother, my only sibling. Now, I’m remembering some of the feelings that I had immediately following his death.

I’ve also given much thought about what I needed from my friends right after his death. One thing I know for sure was that I didn’t need any of my well-meaning friends to quote Scripture, but rather just be there and be willing to listen. The best thing Job’s friends did was when they were silent.

Friday night, I cried quite a bit. In reality, the thing that helped me the most was having a friend to listen to me and help me process my feelings.

Today I went to my friend’s house to see if I could be there to listen, but he wasn’t at home. I wrote a short little note basically leaving my cell phone number and letting him know that I was available anytime day or night.